Back from the Brink
by PhoenixRising360
Summary: Tony was glad to be alive and discovers he's not the only one. NFA Secret Santa 2017 written for Belial. Spoilers for season 2. Adult themes, but nothing worse than what's on the show.
1. Chapter 1

Tony DiNozzo wrapped one arm around his ribs. He ached from all the coughing, tired of feeling like he was hacking up a lung. At least he was getting oxygen with every breath now. He could almost speak in full sentences without pausing to breathe but occasionally if he tried to say too much, it would start a coughing fit.

Pneumonic plague. Who knew that disease even existed anymore? And why wasn't there an immunization for it like all the other horrible diseases? Biological warfare would be more difficult if everyone had resistance, if not immunity, right? Bioterrorists should be punished by execution with their own disease strains. Sounded about right to him. He made the mistake of mentioning that to Abby once. As a result, he was subjected to what had seemed an endless monologue of all the steps that would have to be taken in order for them to develop a vaccine. Mercifully, he fell asleep during it and never dared mention it again.

He sat at the side of the bed, and pulled on his sweats and a t-shirt. As he headed to the bathroom, he smelled coffee and sausage. Gibbs was fixing breakfast.

Everytime he thought about it, he shook his head in disbelief. Gibbs had taken two weeks off work to take care of him. No one had ever done anything like this before. When he mentioned it to Gibbs, he just growled. "Someone has to keep you out of trouble, DiNozzo."

Gibbs had taken surprisingly good care of him without making a fuss. He left the fussing for Ducky and Abby. He'd been surprised at the number of people who had been in and out to help, even some of their coworkers who weren't on their team, but Gibbs seemed to know what he needed, sometimes before he did. Last night, for example, he ordered Tony into the shower and told him not to come out until he smelled better. Tony hadn't felt like he had the energy for it until he saw the shower chair sitting in the tub. He felt better for it and when he returned to his room, he found that Gibbs had already changed the linens, even had clean blankets on the bed.

Tony smiled a little to himself as he reached for his toothbrush. It was nice to know that Gibbs cared and for the first time ever, he felt like he truly had a best friend. They didn't say the words out loud. If their roles had been reversed, he'd have done the same.

Tony inhaled the scent of the toothpaste, and his smile brightened even more for a second before he stuck the brush in his mouth. Toothpaste never tasted so good. He was pretty sure road kill didn't smell as bad as the crap he hacked up out of his lungs had tasted. Since then, his sense of smell heightened and he could taste subtle flavors that he couldn't before. Compared to the mucus, everything tasted good.

When he exited the bathroom a few minutes later, Gibbs was standing on the other side.

"Hey," Tony said, a little surprised.

Gibbs gave him an assessing look. "You look better."

"Feel a little better."

"Good. Hungry?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Gibbs smiled then, a broad smile, one that Tony hadn't seen in a while. He jerked his head to the stairs. "Make it okay or want me to stay close?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "You're gonna stay close no matter what I say." He stepped toward the stairs and was aware of Gibbs nearby, but not exactly hovering. He was stronger than he had been, but by the time he reached the table and sank gratefully down in the chair he felt a little weary, but not the bone-deep exhaustion from last week. His stomach growled then, demanding food.

Gibbs smirked a little as he set a plate of eggs, sausage and toast, and a glass of orange juice in front of him.

"Coffee?" Tony asked hopefully.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Tony smiled. "If you have milk and sugar. I like my tar sweet."

Gibbs chuckled, turned and grabbed a mug. Tony watched as he measured the right amount of milk and sugar, surprised that Gibbs knew. Gibbs set the mug in front of him. "I'm really allowed to have coffee?"

"Why not? Hardly any coffee in it."

"Two-thirds is coffee."

"This is what coffee should look like." Gibbs moved his cup so it sat beside Tony's cup. That is almost white."

"It's tan…light tan."

Gibbs rolled his eyes, but Tony could see the amusement there. "Light and coffee don't belong in the same sentence, DiNozzo!"

Tony laughed. Gibbs teased him frequently since he had been there and Tony was grateful for it. Gibbs grinned at seeing him smile. It was short-lived though, as laughing triggered a coughing fit. He quickly turned away from the table so he wouldn't cough all over their food, doubling over as pain shot through his ribs.

Gibbs thumped key points on Tony's back and Tony felt the gunk loosen. With one hard, wet cough, he expelled mucus in his hand, glad to see it was cloudy yellow rather than dark green. It took a few minutes before he finished coughing and caught his breath so he could go wash his hands. When he returned to the table his face was flushed and his eyes a little watery. "So tired of coughing." He inhaled carefully as he gave himself a moment to settle.

Gibbs nodded. "Got ya some cough med for after you eat."

Tony nodded, and wiped at his watery eyes.

Gibbs jerked his head toward his plate, indicating he should try to eat.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dad!" Sometimes Gibbs acted like one, which both pleased and annoyed him in equal measure. He didn't need to be told to eat, though he had the passing thought it was too bad Gibbs wasn't a dad because he probably would've been a good one. Gibbs rolled his eyes at the remark, it wasn't the first time, probably not the last.

They ate in companionable silence. Despite his discomfort, Tony finished his breakfast but drank about half his coffee.

Gibbs nodded his approval at the empty plate and dumped out the coffee, then got the cough syrup and handed it to Tony.

Tony looked at the label. It was actually a name-brand, not the generic store-brand crap he hated. "Thanks for not getting green death medicine, Boss. That stuff gives me nightmares."

"I remember," Gibbs said as Tony poured out the liquid medicine and swallowed it. Gibbs took the little cup that came with the medicine bottle and rinsed it out as Tony headed to the couch. Gibbs followed him and grabbed the blanket at Tony's feet, unfolded it and draped it over him. Tony settled in against the pillows piled up to elevate his upper body in case he had trouble breathing. Tony visibly relaxed and closed his eyes.

"I gotta go into work today. Morrow is having a meeting. Kate's gonna keep ya company."

Tony opened his eyes. "You mean babysit me."

"It's not babysitting."

"Yeah, it is. She doesn't need to come over. I'm fine."

"Not yet, but getting there." Gibbs said.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Just tired."

"Yeah? Well, she's coming over anyway, making dinner."

"No need for a fuss. I'm okay. She doesn't have to make dinner."

"Tony," Gibbs started, a note of frustration in his voice. "You nearly died. Scared the hell out of all of us!" Gibbs barked.

Tony instantly felt guilty. "Okay, okay, sorry," Tony muttered. "Just…don't want to be more trouble than I already am."

Gibbs took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "She wants to help so let her, all right?" Gibbs paused a moment. Tony looked at him with a question in his eyes. "Gotta run errands after. Want anything from the store?"

Tony thought for a minute. "Steak?"

Gibbs grinned. "Already on the list."

"That stew thing you made the other night was good, can we have that again?"

"Sure," Gibbs said and paused for a moment, then as if making up his mind, he looked directly at Tony. "Kate's glad you're feeling better, Tony. Really glad," he emphasized.

Tony looked a little confused for a moment, but weariness clouded his perception and he could only nod and close his eyes, drifting off. He wanted to think about Kate. There was a lot to think about, but right now sleepiness tugged at his eyes and he gave in.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony awoke a little while later to the sound of new footsteps. Blearily, he opened his eyes and looked around. Kate was standing beside the dining room table, wearing jeans and a maroon t-shirt and having a quiet conversation with Gibbs. He blinked and realized he'd never seen her in jeans before. The ones she wore hugged her figure in all the right places without being too tight. He couldn't help but admire the best view he'd seen in weeks.

In a rush, he remembered all the things he wanted to think about. He hadn't felt up to doing much of any anything, let alone thinking after having spent most of the last few weeks sleeping and coughing. He closed his eyes, sorry to lose the view, but he wasn't ready to face Kate. Fortunately, neither noticed him. Well, Gibbs probably did but the man had eyes in the back and sides of his head.

He pretended to be asleep and let his mind drift. Kate had stayed with him while they waited for the disease to take effect. They had kept up their usual banter until he'd doubled over with coughing and pain and blood. After that, everything was a blur of pain, the sensation of drowning and believing he would die. After Gibbs ordered him not to, it was a blur of pain and coughing and gasping for breath, and determination to live.

The realization that she wasn't infected, but stayed with him anyway gripped his heart. She could've been exposed and died, too. She should not have stayed with him for even a minute…but she had.

Up to that point, he would've sworn that Kate had no use for him. She hated his 'womanizer' attitude. She thought he was juvenile, uncultured, and crass. He'd been certain she chalked him up to a waste of space.

So, why had she stayed with him? Did she just feel obligated because he got sick? Even as he had the thought, he couldn't imagine Kate doing anything she didn't want to do unless Gibbs ordered her to, and even then, she'd make it very clear that she didn't want to, even as she did it. No. There was more to it than that, he just wasn't sure what it was.

He heard Gibbs leave and listened to Kate doing something in the kitchen. He didn't open his eyes. He wanted her to believe he was still asleep, at least for a little while longer.

 _Why was she here now? Was it because she cared or Gibbs made her?_ Gibbs had said she was really glad he was better. Okay, maybe she liked him well enough that she didn't wish death on him. That was good…he could work with that. Of course, he never thought she'd be happy if he died, never really gave it any thought before. He supposed she would just get over it quickly. After what Gibbs said though, he wasn't sure.

Most likely she was just doing this as a favor to Gibbs so he wouldn't worry. Even if Kate didn't like him very much, Gibbs did. He'd proven that many times over. Tony sighed quietly. He'd always cared about her. In some ways, she was the kind of woman he wished he could settle down with, get married, spend a lifetime with. She was steady, strong, dependable. She was the type who would probably make a good wife, and given how much she dated, obviously didn't want to be alone. Unfortunately, women like her often found him wanting. She was way out of his league, and way too uptight. Sometimes it was really annoying how uptight she was. She'd never just kick back and relax with him, no matter how much he wanted her to.

Or would she? She had taken part in a wet t-shirt contest, so she obviously had a party girl side that she had gone to great lengths to hide. But why? Was she just drunk at the time? She didn't look drunk in that picture, but it was a moment frozen in time. It wasn't like he could tell for certain. He wondered how hard she would hit him if he asked. He quickly dismissed the idea, pretty sure his body couldn't cope with any further insults.


	3. Chapter 3

During his musing, he took a deep breath through his mouth; his throat tickled and he started coughing, which prompted another cough and pretty soon he was sitting up coughing hard and gasping for air. Kate grabbed his inhaler and handed it to him. He hated using it, but was grateful for it.

When he finished, he looked up through watery eyes and Kate was there with a glass of water. He rinsed out his mouth and she took the glass away and he fell back against the pillows.

It took a few minutes before he felt better. "Hey," Tony said through a breath. "Gibbs left?"

"Yeah. Uh, you did know I was going to be here, right?"

Tony nodded.

"Wasn't sure Gibbs would actually speak." She rolled her eyes but smirked.

Tony grinned a little. "So you drew the short straw, huh?"

Kate looked puzzled. "What?"

"Gibbs needed to be there. He didn't want me to be alone…so he made one of you. You're here… so you drew the short straw." Having to pause to breathe in between fragments of sentence annoyed him, but couldn't be helped.

Kate shook her head emphatically. "No, Tony. No one drew straws. I…was the first to volunteer."

Tony frowned. "Really?"

"Yes." Kate took a deep, steadying breath, her eyes sad as she regarded him. "You really scared us all. We thought you were going to die."

"Hurt too much to be dead."

Kate looked sympathetic. "Ducky told us your ribs hurt. Asked Abby not to hug too hard."

"Well, that explains why she was gentle with me last time."

Kate smiled a little. "Sorry I couldn't be here sooner. Gibbs kept me on cold cases. Said you weren't up for company."

Tony sighed and shook his head. "Not good company, though you might've liked it. I was quiet." Tony grinned at her, but when she looked up at him, she didn't return the smile. In fact, she looked pained.

"Please," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Please don't joke about that."

Tony blinked, not sure what to think. He didn't know what to say, but he had to say something, if for no other reason but to wipe that look off her face. He pasted as big a smile on his face that he could. "Come on! I shut up for days, you would've been happy!"

"Please stop," Kate said, emotions cracking her voice. She closed her eyes, and Tony realized she was actually on an emotional edge.

"Kate? What's wrong?"

"God, you really don't get it, do you?! Abby told me you wouldn't."

"Huh?"

"You almost died! As in dead! Down in autopsy! Buried in the ground." She paused and tears filled her eyes. "Never hear your voice again…Dammit, I really thought you were going to die and just…I can't…."

Whatever hold Kate had on her composure was just gone as if disappearing in a puff of smoke. Tony's eyes went wide. He'd seen Kate upset; he'd seen her angry, but he'd never seen her cry. What was most astounding was that it was over him.

At work, he couldn't stand crying women. Most of them were strangers, even the women he worked with at the office. He hated to see Abby cry because they were friends and he hated when something upset her.

This was entirely different. Kate was one of the strongest women he'd ever known and to see her break down like this…it was really something. He never wanted to do anything to make her cry, but the fact that she was so upset over the idea of him nearly dying warmed something in his heart he hadn't realized was cold.

He got up and in a few steps, he was at her side and he drew her in his arms. She clung to him, sobbing.

"It's okay," he whispered. "Don't cry. I'm still here." He rubbed her back lightly. She felt so warm, so good in his arms.

"It was…too close, Tony. Too close. I never realized…" Whatever she was going to say next was lost in a new burst of sobbing, like a dam burst.

"Come on," he said quietly, still holding her but leading her to the couch. He needed to sit back down and sensed she did, too. In that moment, he was really glad Gibbs had insisted he shower. He never expected Kate to cry in his arms.

She sobbed for several more minutes before Tony grew concerned that she might make herself sick. He remembered Wendy had done that once and he didn't want Kate to go through it.

He gently pushed her back a little and wiped the tears from her face. "You keep this up and I might forget you're a frog." He smiled a little.

Kate froze for a moment and realization dawned on her face. She gave him a watery smile. "Gibbs told you about that?" At Tony's nod, she chuckled and shook her head fondly. "Don't worry, I'll remind you."

Tony smiled then. "Believe me, that was never in doubt." He took a deep breath. "So you were really that upset because I had the plague?"

Kate nodded and when she looked at him again, she straightened, like she was preparing for an onslaught of the worst, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "We…always try to one-up the other…sometimes we get ugly," she said quietly. She looked guilty but remorseful. "I care, Tony. I care about you. I never told you that, and I thought it was too late and…" Her eyes watered again as she opened her mouth to say more.

Tony didn't want her to start crying again. He reached over and took her hand and squeezed it lightly to distract her. "Shh, I get it. I care about you, too. I thought you knew that, but I should've told you, too. Just…we fell into the back and forth until it became the only way we related." Tony turned away to cough into his forearm.

"Sometimes it gets tiresome," Kate admitted. "There have been times I just wanted to talk, have a real conversation, but you always act incapable of it. I know you aren't. It was like you couldn't with me but could with everyone else."

"Didn't think you wanted to talk to me because I was an overgrown frat boy."

"Well, sometimes you act like one, but I know you're a good agent and I've seen you have real conversations with others. I just… well, nearly losing you made me see what I hadn't wanted to see before."

"What do you mean?"

"There have been lots of times that you were serious, gave me advice, helped me out in ways all disguised under a teasing tone or a joke or bravado. I focused more on your tone than what you were saying. I wanted to dislike you. I wanted to believe you were just a jerk."

"I am a jerk, Kate. You remind me on a daily basis."

"Yeah, you are, but not always. I didn't see it at the time but you took that envelope so no one else would open it. Did you suspect there was something bad about it?"

"Didn't expect there to be pneumonic plague in it or I wouldn't have opened it."

"I know, but did you think there was something else bad about it. Why did you insist on opening it yourself?"

"I thought it was just a joke," Tony said quietly. "I thought it was a prank by a coworker, and figured maybe you or Tim were getting me back." He paused to take a breath. "I figured both of you owed me one and I would…I would let you have your moment. When the powder flew…I knew then that it wasn't a joke from either of you. Was such an idiot!"

Tears filled Kate's eyes again and she hugged Tony again.

He rubbed her back. "Try not to cry anymore, Kate. It's okay," he said quietly.

This hug was significantly shorter than the last and Kate wiped at her watery eyes when she let go. "I'm really glad you're okay…and I promise you, if I want to play a joke on you, it will never have envelopes or powder or anything like that."

Tony smiled a little sadly. "I know." He studied her a moment, surprised at the things they shared. "So, you really like me after all the crap I put you through?"

Kate offered a watery chuckle and a nod. "Didn't know how much until…" She trailed off and wiped at the dampness on her face. "When I was in high school, I had a crush on one of the jocks. He thought I was too skinny, too ugly, too geeky. He and his buddies were always joking around, playing pranks on each other and other students, and teachers." Kate trailed off as she thought. "You reminded me of him," she said in a small voice. She took a deep breath. "He was cruel and it was easy to give you crap because you reminded me of him. It wasn't fair because you're really not that much like he was. Not really."

Tony tried to imagine Kate as a kid the way she described. He'd been a homely kid and it wasn't until college when he started to get attention from women. He still wasn't sure if it was actually because of his looks or just because he was a basketball player and had attention from the scouts. Back then, he ate up the attention the girls paid him, hadn't cared why, but RMA was strict and there were no girls to fawn all over them.

"Kate, I wasn't like that in high school," Tony said quietly.

"You weren't?" She looked genuinely confused. "But…you played sports in college."

Tony sighed and kept his voice low as he spoke, and paused at intervals to catch his breath. "I went to Remington Military Academy as a kid. I played sports there, but it wasn't like high school sports. At RMA, it was strict, and there were no girls to fawn over us and distract us. We worked hard or we got kicked off the team."

Kate just stared at him, shocked.

Tony smiled a little. "That's not to say there weren't perks, it was just different. Nothing like all those 80s high school movies I've watched."

Kate half-smiled at him. There was curiosity in her eyes now.

"I think most kids are ugly when they're young," Tony added. "We're all awkward and unsure and dumb. Some just improve with age, some don't. We were two lucky ones who did. What matters now though is that you're a beautiful woman and any man you're with should treat you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to him." Tony paused now and took a really slow, deep breath to keep himself from coughing. "I know you've had bad luck with men, Kate. Makes me wonder why you go out with that kind of guy."

"I went out with one of your frat brothers."

"Yeah, I know. He told me. Said all you talked about was me."

Kate blushed.

"He refused to tell me why he never went out with you again. He'd just smile a little and shake his head."

Kate's face was a rosy color and she couldn't look Tony in the eye. "Steve…is a nice guy."

"Yeah, he is. He's a gentleman," Tony said. "I was jealous as hell that he went out with you when you wouldn't like twice at me."

Kate's head shot up in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Did you just say you were jealous?"

"Yeah," Tony leaned back, the effort of sitting up was starting to tire him out.

"Jealous?"

He nodded. He understood her shock, now to see what she did with it.

"But you…" she abruptly closed her mouth, her mind racing. Tony could practically see the wheels turn in her head.

He raised an eyebrow, curious what she was about to say.

"You…were always going out with a different woman every weekend."

"Sometimes, yeah. I did it often enough my stories weren't a complete lie. You've always been so uptight, just couldn't resist shaking you up a little."

"I thought you were a walking advertisement for an STD!" Her ire rose as did her voice when she spoke.

"Nah. I outgrew one night stands in college." 

"So…you don't sleep around?"

"No, Kate. I don't sleep around. I date, but it might last a few months before we discover it's not going to work and we part ways."

Kate just stared, her mouth open. Tony thought she looked comical but he held back laughing. He could laugh later when Kate was gone, but he couldn't laugh now, here. She had a great fish face though, he'd give her that.

"But…"

"I know it's hard to believe."

"You really said all that because I was uptight?"

"McGee, too. He's almost more fun to tease than you are."

"Almost?"

Tony shrugged. "He's trying to impress Abby…and you…so he is pretending to be all Mr. Sensitive to make you like him better."

Kate punched him in the arm, but not as hard as she would've if Tony hadn't been sick, but Tony recoiled.

"Ow! Don't! You know how much blood they took out of that arm!"

Kate instantly looked contrite. "Sorry, forgot about that." She lightly rubbed his arm where she hit it. "But still…I don't think Tim is faking it."

Tony rubbed his arm for a minute until the pain dissipated, making a mental note to ask the nurse to take blood from his other arm at his next appointment.

"No, he doesn't. He thinks women should be treated equally."

"What about you?"

"Kate, I've always known that women were superior to men in every way except physical strength and maybe sometimes stamina."

Kate looked away, and Tony's eyes followed her. "What?"

"I…don't…really think women are superior to men," she said quietly.

"Huh?"

"I grew up with older brothers and they irritated me, got on my nerves and always seemed to have everything handed to them while my sister and me…we had to work and struggle for it. I chalked it up to sexism, and yeah, that was part of it, but…not all of it."

Tony adjusted his position to make himself more comfortable and he listened. He had to hear this. For all the time he'd known Kate, he was certain she believed that women were superior in every way to men.

"I had always wanted to join the Secret Service, since I was young. I knew it was a man's world, but I believed that a woman could protect the President just as well as a man could, maybe even do it better. I worked hard to get there, and made it." She paused there, lost in thought for a bit while Tony waited. Finally, she cleared her throat. "I still believe that women are just as capable of protecting the President as men…just once I got there, I understood why it was a man's world. Protecting the President is…tough, always on the go, one security detail after another, it never really ends. It was tough, but I had something to prove so I did it. Deep down though, I just wanted to go home at the end of the day, spend time with a significant other, and live a normal life. I pushed it all away, not wanting to acknowledge that I didn't like the life I'd chosen for myself. When Gibbs offered me the job…I thought it would be more normal, but…there is no such thing as normal."

Tony chuckled for a second. Then he coughed once, glad it didn't become a fit and took in a breath. "You don't actually strike me as being the housewife type. I think you'd be bored."

"Oh God, no!" Kate shuddered at the thought. "I've always wanted a career, but I think men are better…suited to that kind of life. Men tend to adapt easier to that, I think. Most of the men I used to work with loved their jobs."

Kate cleared her throat. "There are probably some women who love that, too. I don't think there are any absolutes. I just…I want to go home and have someone be there, ya know?"

"Yeah? Me too."

Kate looked surprised. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. I don't enjoy loneliness either."

"You never struck me as the type who got lonely at all."

Tony looked at her, his gaze a little thoughtful. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Kate."

"Unless all of this is your idea of an elaborate joke?" she questioned, a hint of warning in her voice, implying what she'd do if he was.

Tony shook his head. "You just cried like your heart was broken. Do you really think…I would actually make jokes right now?" He yawned really big then, needing oxygen.

"You've made jokes before when I was upset."

"That was different."

"How?"

"You were being uptight or in a feminist rage or taking things too seriously," he paused again for breath. "That was different."

"Are you having trouble breathing?"

"Talking too much," he said with a self-deprecating smile.

"Seriously? Do you need your inhaler?"

Tony shook his head. "No, I'm just tired, but don't want the conversation to end now."

"You need to rest," she said softly. "You're still not 100% yet."

Tony breathed a bit before he spoke again. "I'm thinking we're not so different. You want someone to be there when you get home…I want someone to be there when I get home."

After another pause to breathe, Tony smiled at Kate. "You wanted to date a guy like me, I always wanted to date a girl like you."

This time Kate didn't get fish-faced again, and Tony was almost disappointed. "I like…this," he said, waving his hand between her and him.

"What?"

"Having a serious conversation with you. It's…enlightening."

Kate blinked when he said that and she regarded him thoughtfully, her eyes soft and then growing wide as realization dawned on her. She took a deep breath and smiled at him. "I misjudged you…a lot." Kate's eyes dropped. "I really thought you were as shallow as you made yourself out to be."

"Not true," Tony said as emphatically as he could without bringing on a coughing fit.

"What do you mean?"

"If that was true, you wouldn't have been that upset when I nearly died."

Kate stared at him a moment, and then looked away. "I…uh…I lied to you earlier," she said, shaking her head.

"Huh?"

"I told you I didn't visit sooner because Gibbs kept me on cold cases, but that wasn't true." Kate licked her lips and forced herself to meet his eyes though the shame in them was apparent. "I didn't realize how much I cared until I thought you were dying, and then I thought it was too late. I didn't understand how you got to me. I needed time to think, to understand why I felt the way I did. I was a bitch to you when you didn't necessarily deserve it, just didn't want to admit why."

"I went through your stuff because I wanted to get to know you and I knew you wouldn't just tell me. You already thought I was a jerk and I figured if you were going to think it anyway…" He sighed. "Let's just call it even?"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah."

"Forgiven? Forgotten?"

"Yeah. Start over…sorta?"

Kate's smile lit up her face. "I'd like that."

Tony grinned. "Yeah?" Tony's smile only widened when she nodded. It almost hurt as he hadn't had much to smile about over the last few days, but he couldn't help it. She would probably hit him again when he opened his mouth, but he couldn't resist. "Now see…I always knew you wanted me."

Tony braced himself physically and emotionally for the banter that was coming, but Kate just smiled fondly at him for a few seconds before she moved closer, until only a couple inches separated them. "And if I say yes, you're right?" she asked.

Tony's eyes widened and flicked to her lips and back to her eyes again, seeing the strength and determination he knew made Caitlin Todd who she was. It was momentarily unnerving to have her so totally focused on him, but it was far from unpleasant. This time, he had something to prove to her.

This time his grin was playful with an underlying seriousness. "Well…you have to know I'm not easy," he said.

A small smile touched her lips and reached her eyes, telling him she knew exactly what he was doing. "Good. Neither am I."

Offering a return smirk telling her that he was teasing, he said, "And I expect to be wined and dined."

Kate chuckled. "Me too."

"And more serious talks…but I also want you to laugh and joke with me, too."

"I would love that," Kate said sincerely, her smile growing wider.

"And you can't tell Abby any intimate details." Tony gave her a knowing look. "Don't think I don't know that you and Abby talk."

"I would never."

"Hmm," Tony said, pretending to think it over. "Just one more thing?"

"What's that?"

"You absolutely cannot wear these jeans out in public unless I'm with you."

Kate bubbled up with laughter then. She leaned in and gave Tony a warm, chaste kiss on his half-chapped lips before wrapping her arms around him again and holding him close.

"I am so glad you're still alive."

All the pain he'd endured over the last weeks was worth it for this, he thought. Kate kissed him. He wanted to kiss her again, and again, but somehow he knew there'd be time for that later. He wrapped his arms around her and absorbed her warmth, and her scent. "Me too, Kate. Me too."

"Now, it's my turn," she said pulling away a little, but staying close. "I'll be quick because I can see you need to rest," she assured.

"Okay," Tony settled back and waited.

"Rule 12."

Tony nodded. "We should take it slow. Get to know each other, so we know if it will work."

"If so, I will have to leave the team."

"Or I will."

"No!" Kate shook her head. "You can't leave Gibbs, Tony. He needs you. You're the only one who can deal with his moods. The rest of us will fall apart. It has to be me who leaves, and I was thinking by then, maybe I'd change careers."

"You've already been thinking about it."

Kate nodded. "Yes, but I'm not quite ready. Like you said, take things slow. I want to be able to enjoy having someone to settle down with eventually, maybe not in the too far distant future."

Tony nodded. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there, okay?"

A flicker of doubt flashed in her eyes. "I really do want to get to know you. I regret not doing so sooner."

"Hey now, no regrets. Maybe we just weren't ready. Pretty sure I wasn't."

"Can you really do slow? Thought you weren't good at slow?"

Tony straightened and took her hand in his. She met his eyes. "I want to do this right, okay? I don't want to mess this up…not with you. I think you're worth waiting for."

Kate smiled again. She leaned in and kissed his cheek and Tony loved how her lips felt on his skin. "You need to lie down and get some sleep. I shouldn't have kept you awake so long."

"I'm glad you did."

"Yeah?"

"We needed this, Kate…" He paused. "I needed this," he added thoughtfully, realizing it was true. He felt better than he had in a long time and it had nothing to do with recovering from the plague. Before that, loneliness was getting to him. Kate saved him …in more ways than one.

Kate nodded. "You can tell me why you needed this later. For now, sleep."

"Okay."Tony yawned again and settled back down, surprised at how weary he was since he felt energized, too. He took a few moments to settle and then he fell asleep, a small smile on his lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Tony woke up again when Gibbs returned with grocery bags. Through half-closed eyes, he watched as Kate helped empty bags and hand the items off so Gibbs could put them away where he wanted them.

"He okay?" Gibbs asked with a jerk of his head toward the couch.

"Needed his inhaler earlier, but he's okay. Stayed up for a while earlier."

Gibbs studied her for a moment. "You're smiling."

Kate looked over at Gibbs, her smile not lessening in any way. "Yeah."

"Told him, huh?"

"Yeah."

 _Gibbs knew?_ Tony closed his eyes to hide his shock. _Right, it's Gibbs. Of course he knows._

"About time you pulled your heads out of your asses," Gibbs said. Tony opened his eyes to see Gibbs shaking his head slightly.

Kate checked the pot she had simmering on the stove. Gibbs jerked his head toward the pot in question.

"It's my grandmother's recipe for chicken soup. I always swore I got over colds and flu sooner than everyone else. Took my mother forever to find the recipe."

"Smells good."

"Thanks."

"You want to take some time off work, spend time with him?" Gibbs asked.

Kate looked up in surprise. "Really?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Not working cases right now. If you're here, then I can go back to work."

"You still think he needs someone to stay with him? He seems a lot better."

Gibbs shook his head, his countenance grim. "Still sleeping a lot. Needs help, but won't admit it."

Kate looked into the living room where Tony pretended to sleep. "True. I…could do that."

"Just don't nag him, Kate. Sometimes needs a nudge, not a nag."

Kate's eyes narrowed a little. "Ducky's been overbearing, hasn't he?"

"You know how upset he was when Tony was released from the hospital."

Kate grimaced. "Yeah. I thought he would tear a strip from Dr. Pitt's hide."

Gibbs chuckled. "How long until dinner?"

"Another hour. Wanted him to get more sleep."

Gibbs nodded.

"So, how'd the meeting go?"

"New security protocol. Envelopes and packages go through the mail room for irradiation, no exceptions, no excuses. Everyone has to attend a class on handling mail now."

"Everyone as in…"

"Everyone who works for NCIS and will extend to other agencies so no one goes through this again."

Kate nodded. "Are you really that anxious to go back to work?"

"Still need to find the bastard who held you, Ducky and Gerald hostage."

Kate nodded and looked away, shifting uncomfortably.

"Gonna get this guy, Kate."

"I know. I just…"

"What?"

"I…wonder if he'll target Ducky or me…again."

"Next time he's in autopsy…it'll be in a body bag…dead."

Kate nodded. "Not if he puts one of us there first." She looked over at Tony with a worried expression on her face.

"We'll get 'im," Gibbs said and left it at that as he started a pot of coffee.

Gibbs grabbed a mug out of the cupboard and looked over at her silently, asking if she wanted any. She shook her head no.

"So you're not mad at Tony and me?"

"Why?"

"Rule 12?"

Gibbs didn't answer, just waited until the coffee pot started sputtering, and poured himself a mug. As he turned away from the pot, he looked at Kate. "You won't break rule 12."

Kate frowned, not understanding.

"You'd leave the team first. You'll know when you're ready." He headed to the basement.

Kate gazed at his back in shock as he disappeared in the doorway. "How do you do that?" she muttered.

Tony's sleepy, muffled voice reached her ears. "Eyes in the back of his head."

Kate snorted as she shook her head and looked over at Tony, grinning. "And the sides."

They held each other's gaze, grinning. Tony felt a coil of connection link them and his heart warmed as the pull toward her strengthened. He'd stepped back from the brink of death, got turned around by Kate and now they were stepping forward. He lay his head back down, still smiling at her. Maybe they really weren't so different after all.


End file.
